Interesting tidbits from books I've been reading...

As always, I like to share the good stuff when I find it. Some of the books I have been reading include:

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
It's Not You, It's Him by Dr. Georgia Witkin
10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Lest you think I'm the strangest married woman you've ever seen, I have to explain, I've been reading these for the Women's Group Meeting that is coming up in February. Our topic is Building Better Relationships and I wanted to gain a broader perspective about the subject by reading a broad range of opinions.

In any case, one thing I found that was pretty good was in the Greg Behrendt book. It's an easy-to-read digest that details many of the excuses or ploys used by men to get out of a relationship. Or at least that's how I read it. At the end of each chapter, Behrendt and co-author Liz Tuccillo include little nuggest like this one:

Regarding being too busy to call...

'100% of men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. As one fine man said, "A man has got to have his priorities."'

I like it! It rings true. I wish I had learned this lesson a long time ago. Granted, it's not something I have to worry about now, but it would have saved me so much heartache.


In Dr. Georgia Witkin's book, It's Not You, It's Him, she provides lots of great advice on learning to trust yourself and being comfortable with who you are. One of the best pieces of wisdom I picked up here was, "Don't apologize for being single." This, too, is great advice. When I was single, I never felt like I had to be part of a couple in order to matter. I did feel that something was missing, but not in terms of my self-worth. I think it is important that a woman feels like she's somebody, especially when she's single. Don't pin all of your worth on how "coupled up" you can get! I recommend this book to any woman who struggles with self-esteem issues and pressures from others to find a mate.


For those of you who haven't read or heard Dr. Laura Schlessinger, I have to tell you, you're missing out. She may seem to have a very stern demeanor and you might even think she's unbearably judgemental. But, if you take a few moments to digest some of what she is saying, you'll see that it's really just tough love. She truly understands what women need to be doing for themselves in order to overcome adversity. She's a huge proponent of "getting over it" and taking the right actions to fix problems in your life. Taking responsibility for the things we do is one of the first steps towards accepting who we are and growing our self-esteem. In the book 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, she says of depression, "In depression we simply come to accept a situation in a passive-submissive way. It is far healthier to rise up against the injustice and demand redress or change. It is far healthier to walk out in the face of prolonged lack of redress or change."

You tell 'em, doc. This is why I like her. She tells it like it is and she's not afraid to let you know when you are acting without backbone.

From these three books I gained insights into a common theme, "You must develop your sense of self-worth in order to find healthy relationships." If we learn nothing else, this one thing is crucial to our happiness. Our relationship choices have a long-standing impact on our self-esteem, on our children's self-esteem and so on and so on. When we are able to make choices from a place of strength instead of a place of desparation, we are doing the best possible thing for everyone involved.

Have you read any good books lately? We'd love to hear from you! As always, you can send your ideas and suggestions to us confidentially by clicking here. Or you can leave a comment at the end of the post.

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