I have never understood why women stay with abusive partners. I was just at the grocery and I was reading the front covers of the various magazines that were covering the Rihanna/Chris Brown issue. I cannot believe that this incredibly popular young woman is having any trouble deciding whether or not she should leave this young man.
We've all heard the stories about women who say that they simply cannot leave their husbands or boyfriends even if they are being physically and/or emotionally abused. My first thought is always, "Why?" These women either truly believe that they love the abuser and shouldn't leave them out of some sense of duty or loyalty or they simply don't know what steps to take to get away. This is one of the reasons why I started this blog; to share ideas that will help women make decisions that will push them toward happier and healthier living.
As a woman who was once a victim of sexual assault, there was never any question as to how close I would let my attacker get to me after the incident. As a matter of fact, I dared him to approach me for any reason. I'm not saying that staying frighteningly angry about the incident is the best way to deal with it. Although anger was a huge part of my life for a while, I learned that it wasn't the best way to move on. What I am saying is that a woman must first be loyal to herself and to her right to live life in a safe environment where she can grow and succeed at whatever she wants to do. When you start being more loyal to yourself and your right to be happy, you naturally start to move away from those who wish to do you harm and gravitate toward what will help you live a better life.
What have you done for yourself lately to show that you are loyal to being your own wonderful woman? Tell me about it here.
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September Spotlight
Jan Goff-LaFontaine
Jan Goff-LaFontaine
Jan Goff-LaFontaine is a social worker, photographer and author whose ongoing work is dedicated to creating awareness and healing through her art.
Jan has published two books in her pursuit of helping others to heal. Her first book, Reflections Between the Lines; The Healing of the Vietnam Generation examines the post-war experiences of 55 women and men who served in Vietnam.
Her most recent book, Women in Shadow and Light; Journeys From Abuse to Healing, was awarded Book Of The Year in Women’s Issues by the Independent Publisher’s Association, and was a finalist for the prestigious Nautilus Awards. In this powerful book, Jan focuses on the healing journeys of women who are survivors of sexual and physical abuse. In this book, she helps women to see and celebrate their beauty, and discover their strength, both through the interviews and the beautiful black and white portraits she created for each woman as an expression of their healing.
When Women in Shadow and Light was released, Jan began getting requests from women all over the country to create ‘healing portraits’ for them, as she had for the women in her book. After doing this for several women, and seeing the powerful effect the process has in helping women to heal, Jan started pondering how she might be able to offer this service to help even more women.
This led to the creation of her Healing Through Creativity workshops designed to support abuse survivors and those who work with them, such as advocates and counselors. In this workshop Jan works with one of the women from the book, Jeanne Kuhns - singer, songwriter, painter and Registered Nurse, who has written several songs specifically for these workshops. Through a series of meditations and journaling exercises, Jan guides the women in these workshops to a place where she can create healing portraits for each woman.
After discovering that it was not just abuse survivors who had body image issues and were unable to see their beauty, this workshop evolved into doing retreats for women titled Manifest Your Magic. The creation of essence or healing portraits for each woman is still a major component of these retreats, but they also include lots of deep sharing, laughter, fun and chocolate! And they are held in magical places as well, like the next one, in Hawaii.
Jan believes that every woman, no matter what her age or dress size, is beautiful; she sees all women through this lens, and her portraits reflect that. She feels that we can hold a new vision of who we are and what our lives can be, and experience in our bodies the healing power we have within. Her goal is to help women discover how our past wounds can become doorways through which we emerge as whole, healed and a gift to the world. She loves helping women to heal, and to live life from a sensual place, allowing more passion, awe, joy, and gratitude.
Be sure to subscribe or follow this blog for your chance to win a copy of Jan's book, Women in Shadow and Light; Journeys From Abuse to Healing!
Jan has published two books in her pursuit of helping others to heal. Her first book, Reflections Between the Lines; The Healing of the Vietnam Generation examines the post-war experiences of 55 women and men who served in Vietnam.
Her most recent book, Women in Shadow and Light; Journeys From Abuse to Healing, was awarded Book Of The Year in Women’s Issues by the Independent Publisher’s Association, and was a finalist for the prestigious Nautilus Awards. In this powerful book, Jan focuses on the healing journeys of women who are survivors of sexual and physical abuse. In this book, she helps women to see and celebrate their beauty, and discover their strength, both through the interviews and the beautiful black and white portraits she created for each woman as an expression of their healing.
When Women in Shadow and Light was released, Jan began getting requests from women all over the country to create ‘healing portraits’ for them, as she had for the women in her book. After doing this for several women, and seeing the powerful effect the process has in helping women to heal, Jan started pondering how she might be able to offer this service to help even more women.
This led to the creation of her Healing Through Creativity workshops designed to support abuse survivors and those who work with them, such as advocates and counselors. In this workshop Jan works with one of the women from the book, Jeanne Kuhns - singer, songwriter, painter and Registered Nurse, who has written several songs specifically for these workshops. Through a series of meditations and journaling exercises, Jan guides the women in these workshops to a place where she can create healing portraits for each woman.
After discovering that it was not just abuse survivors who had body image issues and were unable to see their beauty, this workshop evolved into doing retreats for women titled Manifest Your Magic. The creation of essence or healing portraits for each woman is still a major component of these retreats, but they also include lots of deep sharing, laughter, fun and chocolate! And they are held in magical places as well, like the next one, in Hawaii.
Jan believes that every woman, no matter what her age or dress size, is beautiful; she sees all women through this lens, and her portraits reflect that. She feels that we can hold a new vision of who we are and what our lives can be, and experience in our bodies the healing power we have within. Her goal is to help women discover how our past wounds can become doorways through which we emerge as whole, healed and a gift to the world. She loves helping women to heal, and to live life from a sensual place, allowing more passion, awe, joy, and gratitude.
Be sure to subscribe or follow this blog for your chance to win a copy of Jan's book, Women in Shadow and Light; Journeys From Abuse to Healing!
This Month's Thoughts for:
Body-Don't forget to stretch. All of the tensions of the day can build up over time and we need to stretch away the stress! Sitting at your desk or on the floor, reach for the sky and let your body relax!
Mind-Keep working on quieting your mind. As we head into the first big kid's holiday season, Halloween, don't forget to work on settling down each day. Parties, trick-or-treating, costumes, candy, it's all floating around in there so make sure you make time to push it aside and just be.
Spirit-For me, looking at the leaves as they turn in the fall is such a spiritually soothing activity. I truly enjoy walking at the park and taking in all of the beautiful patterns created as Mother Nature paints upon her canvas. It's hard not to believe that there is some Higher Power guiding the universe when you are watching the seasons change.
Mind-Keep working on quieting your mind. As we head into the first big kid's holiday season, Halloween, don't forget to work on settling down each day. Parties, trick-or-treating, costumes, candy, it's all floating around in there so make sure you make time to push it aside and just be.
Spirit-For me, looking at the leaves as they turn in the fall is such a spiritually soothing activity. I truly enjoy walking at the park and taking in all of the beautiful patterns created as Mother Nature paints upon her canvas. It's hard not to believe that there is some Higher Power guiding the universe when you are watching the seasons change.
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2 comments:
One of the co-authors of my upcoming non-fiction title wrote a book called "Women Submit! Christians and Domestic Violence." She also founded Hungrey Hearts Ministry - http://hungryheartsministries.com/
Jocelyn's story is incredible and it might answer a few of those questions you raised.
Because I cannot imagine staying in such a situation...
L. Diane Wolfe
www.circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com
www.spunkonastick.net
www.thecircleoffriends.net
Thanks for this great information, Diane!
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